It's 9AM

What Do You Call It?

Mom, can I get a Ty, he called from the bedroom.

A what? I asked her.

A Tylenol, she scoffed and looked at me like I was an idiot. “You don’t know what a Tylenol is?”

“Your momma doesn’t know what a Tylenol is,” I shot back.

Your Momma is my response to a lot of things said in my general direction and yelled at bad drivers.

I’m trying to control the flow of F-bombs and resorted to just mean mouthing their moms.

But we needed a Ty or two today after a long weekend of travel baseball.

While I’m busy disparaging various mothers, this next Gen, are they Gen Z at 11/12 now, are just shortening the words.

Our words.

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They should be called the Bruh generation, because that’s all we hear, almost all the time.

Hooked to the headsets and playing Madden or Fortnite with the gang, it’s just one Bruh after the other.

Using it as noun, verb, adjective and curse word.

Much like I use/did use the F word.

Sometimes decoding the meaning of the evolved language takes an extra second or two.

I mean, I got in trouble when he called for a pop and I brought him a soda.

He wanted a popsicle.

That made me Cap.

I don’t know what that’s short for, but it’s not good.

The way language is changing is gnarly.

I mean when we added radical to the vernacular in 1982, it was totally tubular.

For sure.

I do regret the Valley Girl’s contribution of “Like” though.

Of all the ways English language adopts, evolves, changes and slips into and out of use, the word “Like” can be an ice pick in the ear drum sometimes.

There was a twenty something being interviewed on a podcast once where I counted when I noticed it was almost every sentence, and sometimes every other word.

“So, like, this guy was going to the store, and like, he had this car, like a truck, but like, it had a bed on it, and like he seemed like a total creeper. And like, that’s when I knew.”

Bruh, it’s maddening.

Or can be.

I’ve been told that no one else in the house hears it until I point it out.

And then they can’t unhear it.

Which is my fault.

Because I pointed out the problem.

It’s enough to make me want a double dose of Ty.

Let me take two and I’ll talk to you again in the morning.

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Books by Chris Lowry

Classic Sci Fi

1.  Moon Men

2.  Super Secret Space Mission

3.  Bovine Bloodbath

4.  High Steaks

5.  Epoch

6.  Eon

7.  Era

8.  Backwoods Station

9.  The Cryptid Chronicles

10.                Nano Samurai - a sci fi action adventure

11.                Temporary Merc - a sci fi adventure

12.                Rogue – the Temporary Merc series

13.                UNASS – a Situation Normal Series

14.                SNAFU - a Situation Normal series

15.                FUBAR – a Situation Normal series

16.                Redneck Vampire Terrorizes Trailer Park

17.                Galactic Dawn

18.                Neural Nexus – a sci fi action adventure

19.                The Nova Project - a sci fi action adventure

20.                Matter of Time – a sci fi adventure

The Dipole Series

1.  All Jacked Up

2.  Lunar Hustle

3.  Love Machine

4.  The Dipole Shield

5.  Planet 9

6.  Parralax

7.  Whiskey Bent

THE DIPOLE COLLECTION BOXSET

The Invasion Earth Series

1.  Phalanx

2.  Beachhead

3.  Bridgehead

4.  Lodgement

5.  Ultima Thule

6.  Infilade

7.  Dust Off

8.  Phalanx

9.  Defilade

Sheriff Ben Logan Series

1.  OLD MAGIC

2.  Stolen Relics

3.  Needs Must

4.  First Rodeo

5.  Strange Bedfellows

6.  As The Night is Long

7.  Blame it on the Moon

8.  West of Anywhere

The Marshal of Magic Series

1.  Guns and Magic

2.  Witch Blues

3.  Big Easy Witch

4.  Viva Witch Vegas

5.  Rules for Fighting Demons

6.  MythUnderstood

7.  Witchmas Day – an urban fantasy action adventure

8.  The Marshal of Magic – an urban fantasy action thriller

Witchmas - The Marshal of Magic Boxset

The Crescent City Coven Series

Ware the Cats of War - an urban fantasy adventure

City Magic - an urban fantasy adventure

Bayou Magic – an urban fantasy adventure

The BIG EZ COVEN SERIES

Big EZ Coven book one

The Battlefield Z Series

1.  Battlefield Z

2.  Children’s Brigade

3.  Sweet Home Zombie

4.  Zombie Blues Highway

5.  Mardi Gras Zombie

6.  Bluegrass Zombie

7.  Outcast Zombie

8.  Renegade Zombie

9.  Everglades Zombie

10.              Flyover Zombie

11.              Headshots

12.              Overland Zombie

13.              Lone Star Zombie

14.              Cowboy Zombie

15.              Gone Dark

16.              Silent Run

17.              No Entry

18.              Restricted

19.              Desolation

20.              Exposed

21.              Shelter in Place

22.              Ashes - a Post Apocalyptic story

23.                Run - a Battlefield Z story

24.                Hide - a Battlefield Z story  

25.                Dead Wave

26.                Dead Run

27.                No WAY – a Battlefield Z Story

BOXSET

Battlefield Z - The Complete adventures giant boxset

The Shadowboxer Files

1.  Asset

2.  Render

3.  Operative

4.  Sideways

5.  Chokepoint

6.  Decreed

7.  In The Dark

8.  True Nature

9.  Nominee

10.              False Flag

11.              Burn Bag

12.              Credible Threat

13.              Tin Trooper

14.              Nazi Nukes – guest appearance

The Shadowboxer Files – Massive Boxset

The Jake Burbank Mysteries

1.  A Pint of Problems

2.  A Fifth of Trouble

3.  A Shot of Revenge

4.  A Double Shot of Revenge

5.  Death by a 45

6.  Touched – an off the wall thriller

7.  Back to Business – sequel to Touched

8.  Friends Like These – book three in the Touched trilogy

9.  Shadows of the Past – a thriller

10.              Grandpa’s Secret War – a thriller