It's 9AM
I’m torn between two dreams.
And it’s driving me nuts.
The first dream is to write full time, and get as close as I can to being a very highly paid author.
I know several, and they all have one thing in common.
They write as their job and that’s almost all they do.
They also had a little luck, partnering with a more established figure in indie publishing, who acted as a co-author on a series, which helped them reach hundreds of thousands of readers.
But the main portion of their success was putting in time, effort and creativity by working at being an author.
It’s possible and probable that it might work, because I’ve seen a portion of that success working part time in the past.
The other part of me wants to skip the whole money thing, and go homestead at a cabin in the woods.
Just me, and a dog, and a garden and fishing pole.
My brain plays it out on how to convert a storage building into a tiny home, how to build the raised planters, even down to what crops I’d plant and when.
And those two desires are fighting each other.
I suppose the easy answer is to do both.
Figure out how to make enough short term cash to make writing into a long term solution.
Then get enough money to satisfy needs so that I can get some woods, and a cabin, and build the escape.
Still I’m reminded of the Native proverb, about your soul having two wolves and the one that grows is the one you feed.
I’ve been feeding the writer lately, more so than the “chuck it all and get away” guy.
Though some days it feels closer than others.
I know a lot of guys my age get MAD syndrome.
Middle Age Dudes.
We still feel thirty five, most of the time, but our time for fighting wars has passed.
So has our time for most other things, except transitioning from Dad into that phase before we become Poppa, or Grandpa.
Young women no longer look at us the way they once did, women our age look at us like we’re idiots, and older women are still a mystery.
I see a ton of videos of guys around my age wanting to “escape” to the woods.
They pit their survival skills and building skills and every other skill they have to prove to the world that they can still build and survive and can Tik Tok it, or Youtube it.
Or Facebook it.
Or on Facebook I see a lot of guys I graduated high school with becoming grandfathers, and I know I’m still a decade away from that.
I hope.
Five more years, at least.
I hope.
Which gives me time to figure it out.
Which wolf to feed.
Which books to focus on and grow the business.
Or which woods to hide in, so I can turn my grandkids feral and wild, teaching them to build fires from dead fall, carve sticks into spears to hunt hot dogs for roasting and drink Shasta’s in the back of a truck bed.
Maybe that’s a good dream to feed.
Here’s my ask for today: gas, grass or ass. Nobody rides for free.
I hit 1k words on a Dipole Series book yesterday, so I’m channeling my inner Tinker, but my smuggling skills are dusty.
We added BRAVO ACTUAL – a Sci FI Anthology to the store yesterday. Go grab your copy.
50 folks should subscribe to Youtube and we’ll hit our target. Go hit the subscribe button today.
10 folks should buy a book so I can pay phone, get gas, and buy a Shasta.
1 person needs to upgrade their subscription. It should be you.
Or
100 people need to go monthly subscription. Check out this deal.
AND
Summer Magic (The Thorne Witches Book 1) (free)
Demonic Indemnity (free)
Broken Witch: The Bloodfire Chronicles: Book 1 (free)
The Harvesting: The Harvesting Series Book 1
I’ve also got a poll at the end of this story, so be sure to answer:
Vamp War:
Detective Mark Sullivan was a supercop, or so the tabloids liked to call him.
He had a reputation for solving the most baffling cases and always getting his man, but there was a secret that set him apart from the other detectives in the precinct.
Mark hunted vampires.
It was a well-kept secret, known only to a select few in the department.
Mark had been recruited into a clandestine organization tasked with keeping supernatural threats in check.
Vampires, in particular, were his specialty.
He had seen things that would make most people's blood run cold, but that was the price he paid for keeping his city safe from the undead.
On the surface, Mark appeared to be a regular family man.
He had a loving wife, Sarah, and two young children, Emma and Liam.
They lived in a cozy suburban house, and Mark would go to great lengths to keep his double life a secret from them.
He had no choice – it was a matter of their safety.
One sunny afternoon, Mark received a tip about a vampire nest that had been growing in the city.
He couldn't ignore it, even if it meant missing Emma's soccer game.
He made up an excuse about a last-minute work meeting and kissed his wife and kids goodbye.
Sarah gave him a knowing smile and a peck on the cheek, suspecting that work often pulled him away at the most inconvenient times.
Mark parked his unmarked car a few blocks from the suspected vampire lair and grabbed his weapons from the trunk.
As he moved quietly through the dimly lit alleyways, he could feel the tension in the air.
This was no ordinary vampire nest; these were high-level, ruthless bloodsuckers who had caused too much harm already.
Hours passed, and Mark's stakeout revealed some of the nest's activities.
They were running a prostitution ring, using their supernatural allure to control and manipulate their victims.
It made Mark's stomach turn, but he knew he couldn't intervene until he had enough evidence to ensure their capture.
Finally, just as the sun began to dip below the horizon, Mark observed a young woman exiting the building in a daze.
It was clear she had been under the vampires' thrall.
He took a deep breath and decided it was time to act.
He radioed for backup, knowing they were his only chance against such powerful foes.
Mark and his team stormed the building, surprising the vampires in the midst of their debauchery.
Chaos erupted as the vampires tried to defend themselves.
Mark's heart pounded as he fought, knowing that his wife and children were waiting for him at home.
The battle was fierce, but Mark and his team managed to overpower the vampires.
He looked around the dimly lit room, his eyes locking onto the girl he had seen earlier.
She was huddled in the corner, trembling with fear, but free from the vampires' influence.
Mark had done his job, but he knew it was far from over.
As he left the building, he was met with a mixture of satisfaction and dread.
His phone buzzed with a text message from Sarah, asking when he'd be home.
He quickly replied that he was on his way and tried to push the images of the battle out of his mind.
When Mark finally arrived home, it was late, and Emma and Liam were fast asleep.
Sarah, who had been waiting up for him, greeted him with a tired smile.
"Did your meeting go well?" she asked.
Mark nodded, not trusting his voice.
He wanted to tell her so badly, to share the burden of his secret, but he couldn't.
It was a dangerous world out there, and he couldn't risk his family's safety.
Sarah hugged him, her embrace offering comfort and understanding.
"You work so hard," she whispered. "I'm proud of you, Mark."
Tears welled up in his eyes as he held her close, knowing that the most challenging part of his life was keeping this secret from the people he loved the most.
He kissed her forehead, grateful that he had a family to come home to.
Mark Sullivan, the supercop, was indeed a master of balancing the scales between his two lives, but it was a tightrope walk he knew he'd have to continue as long as he kept the shadows at bay and protected his family from the darkness that lurked just beyond their doorstep.
Are you Robin Mar?